It’s been a long time since I posted anything on this blog, mainly because I’ve been busy with a lot of things.
I had my first assignment for Shockwave Magazine, which wasn’t all that pleasant because the acoustics at the concert were terrible and my boyfriend and I couldn’t stand to be there until the band I interviewed performed. We left a quarter into the first band’s set.
It’s also been a long time since I’ve written a word of my stories that I’ve been working on since I started ten years ago. I’ve already finished my first novel, The Midsummer Clause, but after sending my first horrible cover letter to an agency, I realized I wasn’t good enough of a writer yet.
I started thinking, maybe I should just give up on novel writing and focus on getting a real job.
But slowly, I am getting back into the habit of writing again. It started with the idea of a complete novel about a geek who becomes a witness of a terrible crime and goes on an adventure in the Witness Protection Program with a beautiful CIA agent.
This of course, is inspired by my newfound love for the NBC TV show “Chuck“. My dad introduced me to the show recently with the first seasons, and I immediately fell in love with Zachary Levi for his undeniable cuteness. Plus, he reminded me of my boyfriend and I couldn’t help but notice how much Adam Baldwin was in a similar role to the role he played in “Firefly” and Serenity.
The one post that makes me want to write again was Christian Mihai‘s tumultous tale of how he started, gave up on, and started again on writing his self published novels. When I read the whole thing, I remembered how I started with writing my stories.
I originally didn’t like writing when I was a kid. Still, I would come up with all kinds of stories in my room, playing with my Barbies and stuffed animals. The first story I can remember was “The Vale of the Bunnies”, which I came up with in kindergarten. My parents thought it was the cutest thing, but I was too scared to share it with anyone else because I didn’t have a lot of friends.
Blame it on the bullies in school.
As I got older, I kept writing poetry and song lyrics while being fed pop garbage like Britney Spears, a much younger Jennifer Lopez and Backstreet Boys. But it wasn’t until I saw the film Josie and the Pussycats when my world was changed and I became a rocker chick.
In high school, I lost myself in teen fiction and awesome movies my dad showed me, even the books I read for class. Especially The Great Gatsby (soon to be a movie this spring), Richard Adams’s Watership Down and Octavia Butler’s Kindred. Still, it wasn’t until I turned 15 when I started writing my semi autobiographical novel Crossing Conformity, excerpt coming soon.
My sophomore year of high school was hell. To sum it up: my parents were on the brink of bancruptcy, I had had enough with bullies attacking me every day, and I was showing early signs of anxiety disorder. I had no one to turn to, especially since I had no friends in my neighborhood, only enemies on the bus.
It was so bad I nearly killed myself. But there were several things stopping me from suicide: John Mayer’s album Heavier Things, my parents, the friends I did have, my crush who eventually became my first boyfriend, and the people who really did care about me. That was when my English teacher/504 plan coordinator and my therapist told me I should start writing about everything going on in my life.
I was one step ahead of them by writing my own novel, Walking Barefoot in the Snow, which later became Crossing Conformity. It’s been almost a decade since the day of my two nervous breakdowns at school, and I’m hopefully going to finish the novel by my 10th anniversary of that meltdown. I’m also hoping to inspire young adults everywhere to help end school violence.
After the shootings at Virginia Tech and Sandy Hook, even the melee at my alma mater, Perry Hall High School, I’ve been more inclined to finish this novel to set things right.
And ever since then, I’ve been coming up with amazing stories. The only thing is, I’ve been giving up every now and then, especially after workshops in class at college. I’ve always hated those things and I could never fully recover from harsh criticism.
But what makes me come back from all that is the constant nagging my influences give me. My muses give me kicks to write anything at all, and I start back up again.
I will never, ever give up this time. Ever.
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