Courtesy Cards

It’s that time again… More courtesy cards!

Dear Carnival cruise line,

Thank you very much for responding to your broken down cruise ships happening everywhere and repairing them. However, it’s really sad that your repairs haven’t helped anyone. Then again, it’s pretty good since your carnival is a brokedown water palace erupting from the bowl, monkeys flying. Get it?

Dear Kohls,

I hear that there’s a “Bermuda Triangle” for looking for parked cars in one of your stores’ parking lots. It truly is amazing how you managed to get all those cars together and people have to fish their cars out the old fashioned way: walk around the parking lot until they find their cars.

Dear minor pizza place,

Congratulations on getting a mannequin to do the job of people dressed up in crazy outfits to get customers to eat your pizza. It is quite amazing how you can make funny looking robots do the work so part time teenagers don’t have to stand outside in the cold. You should probably pitch this idea to the tax companies that do taxes for other people, maybe Liberty Tax service with the person dressed as the Statue of Liberty. Help her out, please!

Dear Justin Timberlake,

You were totally awesome on “Timberweek” for Late Night With Jimmy Fallon. I loved the latest “History of Rap” part four and most of all, your rendition of Toto’s “Africa”:

But I’m still not sure I love your music all that much… Maybe…

“Long as I got my suit and tie…” Damn it! I can’t get that song out of my head! Leave me be!!!

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