Courtesy Cards: Revenge of the school

Dear Donald Trump University,

Seems like you really hired some “great” financial and entrepreneurial professors for your school, hand picked by Trump himself. But what really sucks is they’re such shams! I’ll bet you said “You’re hired” to people who sucked more than “You’re fired”. Hope you can survive the $40 million lawsuit.

A bait, line, and switcher!

Dear N*Sync band members,

Congratulations on your reunion and I hope it was bittersweet. There’s one thing I don’t get, though. What happened to you guys? Justin’s been working out with all of his dance moves for his solo career. The rest of you guys kind of made the wagon break the wheels under you, literally. Your performance became totally out of sync.

Dear Towson University Cheerleaders,

I’m so sorry the university suspended you for an entire year. That was uncalled for. Still did you have to do something cruel such as… “Give me an H! Give me an A! Give me a Z! Give me an I-N-G! What does that spell?” hazing?

To my high school Alma Mater,

Congratulations on making new efforts on making Perry Hall High safer after that shooting last year. You’re well on your way to make school much safer. You’re just one metal detector away from being a city school. Or aren’t all county schools turning into penitentiaries for the young? Honestly, I feel like I should never have kids because I’m too afraid to send them to school. The bullying will kill them, literally.

Aren’t I glad I’m never getting married? Well, maybe not never.

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