I’m trying on this new skin for size, in case you were wondering. One morning after moping around the house for weeks, I woke up and said, “I’m not taking any more lying around and doing nothing.”
I’ve decided to do what The Doctor from Doctor Who would do if he got himself into a burning pit, which I’ve done to myself for too long… regenerate. You know, give myself a huge makeover. But this time, I’m only making over my soul, nothing else.
Sure, I’m looking for some better clothes to wear out to other places, including some more shirts and blouses to wear for working a full time job. I’m strangely attracted to things in a particular shade of blue, mainly because of that frakking Doctor played by the likes of Matt Smith and David Tennant. I finally got the time to catch up on some episodes I may have missed, or forgotten. Honestly, the dumbest and worst one of all was “Midnight” with the alien possessing some crazy woman and copying everything anyone, even Tenth Doctor David, says.
And as I’m going through a “Positive Affirmation Challenge”, where I talk nothing but good stuff about myself until I believe it in a month, I’m noticing more and more a little at a time. The more I talk good sense into myself, the more I win against a battle I have with the mirror and with my procrastination.
This photo actually gets me writing more often.
I hate to say it, but Matt Smith is adorable. He’s so adorable that he’s a-dork-able. And I’m in love with dorks, like the last couple of guys I dated. Then again, I wouldn’t want to date someone like them again.
Still, I think I’ve got a little crush on Doctor number 11. It might be because I’m torn by him leaving the show and regenerating into… the same guy from “Fires of Pompeii” in season four? I swear, I just saw that one weeks ago! He was the guy discovering the volcano, and now he’s going to be the Twelfth Doctor? What the F!
Ok, fine, I’ll admit it. I’m a geek, a nerd, a dork… call me what you want. This is me finally coming out of that nerd closet I’ve hidden behind for too long.
I’ve met some awesome actors playing the roles of characters only a nerd would love at conventions. I have a photo signed by the entire cast of Firefly, plus Mark Sheppard who played Badger, and one of Will Smith with Sonny the robot in I, Robot autographed by Alan Tudyk himself. Sometimes at the cons, I find myself in situations, for instance, the hilarious time Bonita Freidericy grabbed me and yelled, “I don’t think we can fit her on the plane!” That, or Rob Paulsen greeting me and Kerensa with “Hello, nurses!” in his Yakko voice from Animaniacs.
I think Matt Smith is the cutest, sweetest thing in “The Beast Below”, and Amy Pond jerks on my heartstrings when she hugs him in the end of it and says, “Gotcha.”
If that’s not enough, I can’t wait to see the next Captain America movie and I seriously want to read Orson Scott Card’s classic Ender’s Game before the movie comes out. That, and I can’t resist reading some cool books, like Dream Park and the Society of Steam series.
I am a nerd. ‘Nough said.
I used to play in the backyard with my childhood playmate Delian, coming up with different episodes of science fiction/fantasy stories about a magic guard with a TARDIS and a princess. When we grew up, he went further into his nerdy devotion and kept true to himself the entire time. As for me, I jumped right into that closet and didn’t come out for a long time.
Why? Because I was determined, completely focused on being cool. I wanted to be with the cool, popular kids in theatre and music departments, talking about prom dresses, teachers, boys, and musicals. I soothed myself with saying, “Those sci fi things are only fairy tales and you don’t have to talk about them with your friends, let alone believe them. Don’t think about those.”
Sadly, I could never be the coolest person in high school at Perry Hall. Both times I ran for homecoming and snow dance queen, I never made it to the court full of runner-ups. I knew the ones who bullied me for whatever reason would hate me until graduation. I tapped the top 10, but someone hated me because of that raging anxiety monster inside and that nagging nerd in the closet crying, “Let me the frak out!”
No matter what, I ended up going to college and chatting up the couch people at the student union. I mean both my community college and my three years at university. Then I moved on to going to Balticon after meeting Kerensa, and then reading her recommended books and more than that. Soon, I found out what kind of person I became.
TBC (That’s “To Be Continued”… I know it’s a long one.)