It seems we’re in the home stretch of the final months of the year 2014, and it’s time for wishing on stars for miracles. Tons of stuff has happened in the past year: the Russian Winter Olympics, Isis and the issues with Russian President Vladimir Putin, and another Republican idiot taking office as Governor of Maryland. Celebrities have committed child abuse with some of the worst baby names anyone’s heard (loads of them worse than North West Kardashian), the ladies man who swore to be Mr. Single-Forever (George Clooney) got tied to the bed in submission by his new lawyer wife, and the immediate death of comedy itself came crashing down when news broke on the sudden shocking loss of funniest man in the universe Robin Williams.
Even Billy Crystal couldn’t laugh, for he cried so much at the funeral.
And for about sixteen months since my Faberge silver and gold birthday (2013, when I turned 25 years old on July 25th), I definitely felt the same way for the band who wrote the song I’ve already listened to twice as I’m writing this. It might have been because my last boyfriend ripped my heart like a credit card offer in telling me to kill my dreams of being a writer, and at first I didn’t believe him. Then I found this world to be incredibly too competitive with so many people wanting to be writers. Only a select few get the recognition, fortune and fame, like the popular kids in high school mentioned in this song: “She says I wish that I could be like the cool kids/ Cause all the cool kids, they seem to fit in…”
I think Echosmith is my new favorite band of 2014, for the singer in the band is better at singing and songwriting and is much prettier than Taylor Swift, “The Slutty Mift” who looks like a blond raccoon on morphine. Special thanks to dad for introducing me to them, for now I have something new to like on the pop radio stations. And normally, I’ve come to loathe pop radio with a vengeance for the remainder of time, but I will make an exception… for that band and another song from an artist I used to hate for his depressing first single “A Team”; Ed Sheeran’s “Don’t” I find has a great story merged with a 90s style hip hop I haven’t heard since “No Diggity” and so catchy it’s borderline addictive. (I keep humming: I don’t wanna know that babe, ahh-la-ah-la-la…)
Ok, I think I’m done standing on this box of shampoo and body wash, spewing insults on today’s society and people’s current detestable and non-existent taste in music. I am still trying to contact my alien friends in another galaxy so I could make flight arrangements so I can become the first human citizen comfortably living in outer space, completely cut off from the rest of the abomination that is Earth.
As they say in Portal 2: Space! Space! I wanna go to space! So much space… Hey, hey lady, let’s go to space! Wanna go to space? Gotta go to space, gotta see it all… SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE! (Wheatley: Nobody is going to space, mate!) Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba, space! Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba, space! Space… space…
Kidding. I’m done. Curse you, Kerensa, for poisoning me with this hysterical joke in that video game you love so much. Still, I think GlaDOS would make a wonderful President of the United States.
I’m currently writing this on Veteran’s Day, November 11, which is just four days away from the annual writers’ conference at my alma mater Towson University, a week and a half before Thanksgiving and Black Friday, and a little more than two weeks before celebrating the birth of my best friend known for four years. And it gets me thinking…
As soon as summer ends, I’m flooded with birthday and holiday festivities hitting me in the face starting in August. Right around Labor Day is my dad’s birthday and school gets back in session. So when my birthday comes in the last week of July, that’s when everyone’s buying back to school stuff and everyone I know gets too busy to visit me and celebrate my day. I also have to wait a while until things get settled so I can look for jobs again. Then autumn comes, which happens like the John Mayer song that goes, “It doesn’t ask… until there’s fog inside the glass around your summer heart.” It may be true, since the weather here in Maryland has been driving me bonkers—first it’s warm, then it gets colder, then it’s warm like springtime again, and BOOM, winter weather is here! Oh the joys of Christmas and holiday shopping and nasty snowy weather induced traffic… or not.
There are things I am grateful for considering that Thanksgiving is weeks away; I am in love with some of the stuff people have been and are doing to change the world and making this place magnificent. (But not for the fact that Halloween is the new Black Friday… Please, no one wants to think of the birth of Jesus when your kids are dressed as Satan and are having candy induced comas! You might as well have Jesus and Santa Claus on AMC’s The Walking Dead.) We had an amazing victory for our independence from England, Abe Lincoln granted more equal rights while Martin Luther King’s vision destroyed segregation once and for all, and Clinton advanced our country in a way we never thought possible before Bush screwed it up. Plus, I can’t help but smile from Obama laughing in the face of Isis in saying Isis is flawed, and this time we will fix this and we’ll fix it right now with no bloodshed.
Come on! Isis is a character name in Battlestar Galactica! Didn’t anybody else notice that? I must be a crazy nerd. Oh yeah, that’s right, I was born one!
To be continued…
See part dva here >>>