Lady One Hundred

Guess who's coming to Shore Leave... (BBC One and BBC America.)

Guess who’s coming to Shore Leave… (BBC One and BBC America.)

People have come up to me and said things like, “A lot can happen in three or five years.” Five years ago feels like a very long time, which only makes me depressed with getting and losing a pet in that short time. Three years tends to depress me even more because all I can think about is turning 30 years old in that time frame.

Then again, as I look back at my older posts, I’ve noticed how much this is becoming more and more like a personal blog than a professional one. Did I mention I’m getting close to finishing a novel or short story collection?

But hey, being poor has its pros and cons other than having a shoddy home Internet. For the disadvantages: I can’t drive, I can’t get a brand new computer for myself (with all the firewall and electronic trimmings), I don’t have the luxury of getting a ride to everywhere I need to go, and I lack the ability of getting any autographs from anyone at science fiction conventions and sometimes a decent meal on my own. That includes not securing a roof over my head and resorting to stay with my family longer.

Plus, I’m not allowed to go out with my friends without spending money on anything because I barely have anything.

The pros to being poor are as follows: Thanks to Medicaid, I can see my doctors and get the medical and psychological help I need for free. (The only things I can’t get looked at for free are things like podiatry for toenails or getting my wisdom teeth pulled in October.) You can also get a free cell phone, provided that you’re on Medicaid or medical assistance, along with a few hundred minutes a month to make emergency calls, say for a ride home in a cab or where you’re meeting your friends for dinner.

Also, you have the bedroom and kitchen of your parents’ house all to yourself, provided that you wash the dishes and do your own laundry. I can’t complain about that, because I personally think laundry doing is a thing I love about being a lady.

giselle & laundry

“Happy little working song…” Walt Disney Pictures.

Now we’re getting off the subject of handling smelly shirts and stinky socks like Giselle in Disney’s Enchanted.

As I’m designing and crocheting a new cell phone case, which I haven’t done in years, I’m concentrating “hard” on this hundredth post. I’ve been thinking about it lately, wondering, how can I boost traffic a little more? So I flip on my birthday playlist saved to my flash drive, listening to Mayday Parade and Ed Sheeran, and I figure it out.

This blog needs a video! And maybe a cake!

Though I can’t really post a cake right now, I’ll post a video:

And there’s a playlist selection here too >>>

I’ve also noticed I used to do “courtesy cards” within the last 100 posts as well, but I haven’t done many of them because I needed a long break from the news and variety shows like Fallon’s Tonight Show.

So… here are some “updated” courtesy cards too:

Dear Hostess,

Thanks for bringing your friend the Twinkie back. Send my best to the Debbie lady and the duck that sells the little cakes too. No, not the quacking duck that sells insurance, the one that sells the Ding-Dongs! Oh, never mind.

Dear band who wrote the song “Jenny”,

Thank you for letting my dad and many other people use your phone number for their bonus cards at the grocery store. You know, I’m still humming the jungle after hearing it in Barnes and Noble one afternoon: “867-five-three-oh-ni-ee-yine!” What a nice reminder, but I don’t think my dad and I will be using that number any longer.

Dear K-Mart,

Now that you’ve gotten the lowest marks from Consumer Reports within the last year or so, I’m glad that you’re now closing a number of stores until you can regroup and recharge the batteries. I’m still going to miss the Jacklyn Smith blouses that I love so much. I wanted to stock up on your Joe Boxers too so I could get my P.J. game on.

Dear Jimmy Fallon,

questlovePlease don’t tell me that you’re still using that truck, or the Hashtag panda. But your ?uestlove guy does know how to make fried chicken, since I recently saw that Morgan Spurlock episode on The Roots’ drummer. I’d like a rematch with that other chef’s fried chicken.

Quest loves food and it’s ?uestlove’s food! And in the lyrics of Corinne Bailey Rae, “Got to love that afro hairdo.”

Those were some of my favorite courtesy cards, just for you. Hope you liked it! Hope it wasn’t all ruff…

My favorite celebrity dachshund, Crusoe. Cinder should be cooking right next to him...

My favorite celebrity dachshund, Crusoe. Cinder should be cooking right next to him…

Anyway, I hoped you enjoyed my number one hundred post with exclusive video of one of my short stories, “Broken Hearted Dreamer”. Look out for the next post… hint: The Nerd Queen is back for Shore Leave with a certain Captain! (See picture at top)


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