There are days when I’m happy, days when I’m angry, and days when I’m sad. And then there are days where I go through the whole cycle of happy, angry, panicked, and sad, all within a few minutes. It’s called rapid cycling. I still have it.
And either way, it all makes me exhausted by the time I’m finished that I try to go to sleep, despite my hurt, stinging, and tired eyes from crying.
Yesterday, I felt so incredibly happy. The day before, I had an incredible dream about Alice in Wonderland, because I had just seen Through the Looking Glass in theatres over the weekend. That night, I came up with rhyming poetry to the tune of “Merry Go Round Broke Down” from the Looney Tunes and Who Framed Roger Rabbit, and I felt great about it.
It went a little bit like this:
“Captain Alice became a bride
All dressed up in white
She drew her sword
But it got bored
During the perilous fight
The Mad Hatter and the Hare
Were anything but debonair
They brought their tea
And shrieked with glee
Finding wedding cake in their hair
Oh what fun, he was such a catch
The slayer of the Jabberwock has met her match”
Basically, as you can probably tell from this snippet of the poem, the dream I had was about Alice, slayer of the Jabberwock, getting married to a gentleman. I took the original song, the theme from Looney Tunes, and wrote a poem in the same rhyme and meter and started writing the narrative. The next morning, I felt energized and super happy, chugging along and writing more of the new story idea in mind.
Today was completely different. I woke up after having two terrible dreams about an old high school rival of mine, and the other one about losing both of my parents. It took a long time to come back from that nasty funk, only making me angrier and even a little depressed.
Looks like I could use a good dark chocolate fix. And a visit from Baymax.
Good thing I bought ice cream tonight. I need it.
But I really should get back to writing. For the past week, I’ve been so drowsy and feeling low energy that I didn’t get a chance to write anything, hence why I was absent from my blog all week. I need to do something about that and get back to writing regularly. And this time, I need to write more on Mondays because that’s where the hashtags are for blogs on Twitter.
Since it’s Tuesday, I think Twitter can make an exception for now.
Tomorrow, I’m seeing my DORS counselor again, because she has my file on the autism test I took last month and now we have to decide where do we go from this stage. I don’t qualify as someone on the spectrum, but I’m hoping I can fit into a training program where I can work on my interpersonal skills. That’s what I need if I’m hoping to survive this long road I have to walk towards success.
It’s a very long stretch of walking territory.
My happy music, as featured in Disney’s Tomorrowland:
And my sad music on those low days: