Nerd Queen rewatch: Mighty Gods

hemsworth-hiddleston-thorOk, I have to admit it, Thor is gorgeous and so is his “adopted” brother.

I never thought I’d say this, but I’m starting to warm to the demigod of mischief. It is exactly as the actors Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston put it. Loki is a troubled child because he’s always been jealous of his big brother Thor, whom is a bit of a jock and is next in line to be King of Asgard.

I now understand where he gets it. He has magic powers to multiply himself and mess with people’s vision and judgement. He only let the Jotuns into the vault to ruin his big brother’s day he was supposed to be king.

Then it gets worse. Loki finds out from Odin that he was adopted, because the king of the Jotuns abandoned him and left him for dead when he was a baby. He was really the prince of Jotunheim, King Laufey’s son, and Loki hated the fact that Odin stole him and treated him like a prize for the zookeeper.

But Odin and Frigga had nothing but love for him, and Odin falls into a “Sleeping Beauty” spell, which lasts days, with Frigga not leaving the king’s bedside. And with Thor in exile, because Odin banished him to Earth earlier to teach him a lesson, Loki becomes king and hatches a plan to kill King Laufey and destroy the planet of Jotunheim. But first, he has to kill his brother Thor, which fails tremendously, because when Thor sacrifices himself for his mortal girlfriend Jane (Natalie Portman), his hammer flies out of the ground and gives Thor life again, defeating Loki’s Destroyer and returning to Asgard.

Now I get it. Loki is actually the cute nerd who gets bullied by his brother and then tries to get even. He can be evil, but inside, there’s still a little bit of good in him. That’s what those fangirls love about him.

But there has to be a flaw!!! WHY?????? Why me… why am I starting to get this stupid celebrity crush on a villain, WHY?

(Banging head against the door) Why, why, why, why… why, Loki, why? Why do you have to be so wicked and yet draw a fan base? Thor is obviously hotter than you!

From the sequel, Dark World, where Jane slaps him in the face. This is the one moment where he smiles nice.

From the sequel, Dark World, where Jane slaps him in the face. This is the one moment where he smiles nice.

No, Loki is not sexy. He’s just evil. And creepy. I still get chills watching him smile when he comes out of the portal at the beginning of Avengers, where the Tesseract summons him and he eventually turns Eric Selvig and Hawkeye into his pets.

But what kind of classification of evil is he? According to Chris Hardwick’s book on “nerdists”, there are three kinds of evil, like the role playing games my dad used to play with his high school buddies: Neutral, lawful and chaotic. Lawful evils are the people like Doctor Horrible, guys that follow an evil leader or a code and want to do some bad things, and they take pride in being evil. (Cue song “When You’re Evil” by Voltaire)

Neutral evils are like Kaecilius in Doctor Strange. They don’t have a code of evil-doings, but they do have the ability for serious damage. Kaecilius got some followers together because he saw something darker within the Ancient One and he wanted to wipe her out and bring harmony to himself by harnessing the dark energy from the other end of the multiverse, which also called to the evil Dormammu. If you haven’t seen the film with Benedict Cumberbatch in theatres yet, go get the DVD on February 28.

Then there’s the last one, chaotic evil. Unfortunately, I’ve met a couple of chaotic evils in my lifetime, and they were kind of nice to me by default, but I didn’t want to be friends with them because they did some wretchedly horrid things to my best friend in college. Chaotic evils are basically like Thanos in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, with the upcoming Avengers movie Infinity War. Their desires are always cruel and intended as cruel, and they enjoy killing people and torturing innocent lives.

My best friend’s roommate never killed anyone, but she tortured Kerensa for fun. I’d rather not tell you what she did, but she was just horrible and not a nice person. Basically, she made her cry, just like she did with her other ex roommates in the college dorms. She was awful.

So which one is Loki? He looks like a neutral evil, the malefactor, but I’d go for lawful evil because he does follow his own code and he loves being bad. In Avengers, Loki is leading the Chitauri armies into New York, but only by command of Thanos, whom you see in the first cut scene at the end of the movie. At the start of the movie, a dark voice is speaking, and someone hands Loki the evil scepter with the Mind Stone.

Yeah, he’s a “dominator” all right. And according to Hulk, he’s only but a “puny god”.

He deserved that. And it was funny.

But I kind of feel like that little girl I used to be when I was in elementary school when we played “crab soccer” in gym class. Our gym teacher explained that the enormous ball in the middle of the gym was very sick and needed some good kicking. But in my head, I said, “If the ball is sick, why not give it a cup of soup and a blanket and make it feel better? It doesn’t need to be hurt by people’s feet!”

That’s how I feel for Loki, almost. Big scary Hulk thrashed him on the ground, and now I want to take care of him and nurse him back to health. But I know that’s just a character and the villains always deserve what they get.

Dammit, I can’t believe I’m saying this. Tom Hiddleston just made my list of cute guys. Not fair.

-The Nerd Queen


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