Rock n roll is dead

I don’t mean to go on a rant here, but I feel like this needs to be said after the past few weeks, because my headphones broke recently.

The reason why I always keep a pair of headphones and an iPod in my purse at all times is because I hate fast food restaurants, elevators, and grocery stores (namely Food Lion) that play music. Let me explain this further: I was in a Baskin Robbins a couple weeks ago or so one night, and that particular ice cream parlor was playing the pop radio station at the time. One of the most annoying R&B/ hip hop/ dance songs came on the radio and I was just about to lose it.

As I started putting on my headphones and I struggled to turn on my iPod, I practically shouted, “Why do they have to play this shitty hip hop, dubstep, and rap music? Why don’t they play some classic rock? Oh who am I kidding, ROCK AND ROLL IS DEAD!!! (And hip hop murdered it brutally)”

Unfortunately, one of the customers ordering something heard me. He was pretty tall and scary looking with a bald head and big arms, and he came at me, yelling, “How dare you! So what, you’re getting all emotional over some stupid song they’re playing?”

I snapped at him, “LEAVE ME ALONE!” just before his hands curled into fists and he was about ready to threaten me or worse. I still feel horrible about it because I should have let him get so angry at me enough to make him punch me in the face. I may be five feet tall to his scary six foot, and I may be a woman (and it is against the man code to hit a woman), but I have Medicaid insurance and a good doctor. I can take a good punch in the nose.

But if he did punch me in the face, I would probably have a broken nose and I would never be able to sleep the same way again. Or worse, I would never be allowed back in that ice cream place for months, just like how I was banned from the public libraries and my library account was suspended for almost that amount of time. That was all because I got angry at some people at the White Marsh branch. I will never go to the White Marsh Library ever again because of the horrible memories and whatever they did to me.

But the good news was, my boyfriend was there at the Baskin Robbins to protect me and get me down off my ledge. As soon as the six foot tall monster started talking like he was about to threaten me, Anthony grabbed me, putting his arm around my shoulder and saying, “No, don’t do that. Stay calm. Everything’s ok.”

By that time, my iPod was working and there was some better music playing on my headphones. I don’t even remember the song I listened to or the stupid song playing on the radio that got me so worked up. Either way, I hated it. I hated the whole scene I made in there.

But it’s all the same to me whenever I walk into a Subway, Food Lion, Baskin Robbins, a hotel elevator (like the one at the Renaissance in Baltimore City, where Balticon 51 was held), or some random store (Five Below, etc) where they’re playing hideous, obnoxious music. This is why I don’t go to clubs. I want club music, like dubstep and other songs played by dee jays, to stay at those night clubs.

I want to hear classic rock and rock/ punk/ garage/ grunge from pre 2008 for the rest of time. Well, there are a few pop musicians I do appreciate, including the British pop singer mentioned in the below playlist selection, Lily Allen. I also have a thing for Ed Sheeran, but I still hate the “A Team” song he wrote, which became his first single.

These are my pop music “guilty pleasures”: Robin Thicke (I secretly love “Blurred Lines”), Meghan Trainor (I hate the “All About the Bass”, but her other songs are perfect), Katy Perry, Lily Allen, Nick and Amy Noonan (formerly known as Karmin), and Gwen Stefani for “Cool” and “Sweet Escape”.

And of course I love the rap and hip hop music from the 1990s, such as Salt N Pepa, Will Smith, MC Hammer, and that classic song “Rapper’s Delight”. I used to like Jennifer Lopez for her first album that came out when I was in middle school, as well as the Spice Girls who rose to fame before I turned 10 years old.

Either way, no matter what’s playing on the radio, I wish someone out there would do some physical damage to me. I don’t want serious damage like a knife or a bullet, I just want maybe someone’s fist in my shoulder or a big slap in the face, enough to give me a bruise or a small cut. Not enough to kill me, just enough to go get the first aid kit, but the psychological damage from that can make me wake the hell up.

I need to accept that this world is changing and nobody wants to listen to the same music I like anymore. Fall Out Boy, Green Day, Kings of Leon, Jeff Lynne, John Mayer, Sara Bareilles- those people are old news in the music industry and NOBODY CARES. To me, they’re the only good musicians left alive and I love them to pieces, but not a lot of them are left standing, making music, and alive.

I wish there was a way to kill dubstep and today’s hip hop the way disco died in the late 70s. Then again, I’m going to miss the good old days of rock music for the rest of my life. And until I die, I never want to listen to popular music radio ever again. I wish I won’t have to hear it wherever I go.

Good thing my boyfriend bought me new headphones. I feel like I owe him big.

Playlist selection- Some wise words from a British singer/ songwriter (Lily Allen), which were featured in a scene from Bridget Jones’s Baby:

I wish I could say these words to the WJZ 13 weatherman Marty Bass and the entire Scrump Administration: Pence, Sean Spicer, Betsy DeVos, all those creeps.


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