Tomorrow is the My Little Pony fest, better known as Brony Con.
Technically, it starts on Friday and ends Sunday night, but le boyfriend and I have to claim our hotel room and get our badges the day before. I’m hoping there’s wifi connection in the hotel we’re staying in, and I hope there will be food as well. I’m bringing plenty of hand sanitizer to this thing as well.
I want to look my nerd best for this thing, even if I am not a big fan of ponies. Even though my boyfriend thought it would be a great idea to rent a dress or ballgown for this thing, I decided that there wouldn’t be a lot of prom dresses available for that sort of thing this time of year, and also, I didn’t know my dress size in gowns since I gained so much weight after college. He wanted to order a rental dress online, and I don’t really trust online sizes for any dress.
Besides, I’m so angry at my body because I used to be a size 4. I’m now practically in the double digits- between sizes 8 and 12 petite- and I’m at a horrendous 150 pounds. I don’t care how many stupid times my boyfriend and my friends told me I’m gorgeous, I feel fat.
Ever since a week before Brony Con got closer, I’ve been counting calories and going on walks every day. Even on rainy days, like on Monday, I’ve been trudging uphill to the library and walking up to the grocery store and back in 30-50 minutes a day. I need this physical activity because this bipolar medicine weight will not come off!
Why do medicines for mental illness make you gain so much weight that you have to drink gallons of water followed by burning your breakfast and lunch in despair to take the weight off? I don’t get it!
But the good news is, I went to the store Rugged not too long ago, and I found a lovely black dress with a red trim, designed by none other than Calvin Klein. For the life of me, I’ve always wanted to own a designer dress, especially by Calvin Klein, Lagerfeld, or Chanel. When I saw the price tag, I went ballistic and showed mom. I snagged it and brought it home first chance I got.
Guess how much it was?
$10. Ten bucks for an authentic Calvin Klein dress?!?!?!?!?!
And I said to myself, this is the dress I’m wearing to Brony Con’s gala. I don’t care if it’s a cocktail dress and I don’t care if it’s a little loose fitting (again, size 12) or if it doesn’t match the colors of any of the ponies. I am wearing. This. Dress.
At least it fits, thank god. All it needs is a glitter belt, which I have, and I’m bringing it with me to the convention. And one other thing, it’s just a simple dress, that’s all it is. Doesn’t need a “cutie mark” because it’s a simple black and red dress by a haute couture designer and the colors don’t go with any of the ponies in Ponyville.
I can be a nerd without going too “Brony” at the Grand Galloping Gala. If I want to go to this thing, I want to look hot doing so.
Then again, I do like the Ponies Anthology videos my boyfriend’s been showing me. One of them was totally hysterical with the pink pony (I think it’s Pinkie Pie) doing the voice of the Space Core in Portal 2, going, “Ooh, lady, ooh, lady, lady, you wanna go to space! Let’s go to space! Gotta go to space, gotta see it all! Play it cool, play it cool, here come space cops. Wanna see me? Buy a telescope. Gonna be in space. Space? Space! SPAAAAAACE!”
And I love that one part in one of the Anthologies where the pink pony will not shut up, and she’s talking so fast, so much, and being completely irritating. Just when you can’t take it anymore, you see Arnold Schwarzenegger from Kindergarten Cop, going, “SHUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUUP!” I doubled over in laughter.
Ok, I will go to the premier screening of Ponies the Anthology 6 on Friday night. Maybe once I have an alcoholic drink in me. But I am still not a fan of these crazy ponies. I’ve seen Friendship is Magic and a few clips from Equestria Girls, and I have to say, the show maybe clever for some people, and quite a few children, but I just don’t get it. Maybe it isn’t clever enough for me.
We’ll see how things go tomorrow and this weekend. I am going to miss my house and my beautiful puppy Cinder. Her 9th birthday is tomorrow too and I wish I could spend it cuddling up with her on the bed.
-The Nerd Queen
Playlist selection- Ed Sheeran’s been playing in my head for most of the week…
Note: If you put “Thinking Out Loud” together with Tom Petty’s “Free Falling”, you get an amazing, heartfelt mashup. The same goes for “Galway Girl” and this song from the Black Keys-