Update: I am not to be laughed at

And here’s more crap that happened to me this morning and this week as well: (Please be aware that I will be pretty angry in this post- not intended for those under 14 years old)

I still didn’t get my book. I thought it would arrive by the weekend, and Ready Player One still wasn’t at my house. I don’t know why.

Well I found out why two days ago: It was successfully delivered… to GEORGIA, not Maryland. I hope whoever the motherfucker is who took my package and opened it is really happy with the book I paid for them.

I contacted Amazon Support TWICE this week about my issue. They said if the seller in China doesn’t respond in 24 hours, contact us again and we will file a claim/ complaint against the seller and we will give you a full refund. I waited another day, and still no package, and no confirmation from the seller, so I had to get my money back.

But sadly, I didn’t want my money back. I wanted the book!

I was still furious with them, telling me I couldn’t have what I wanted. I felt like the book was so popular and everybody wanted it, so much so that the universe was telling me I couldn’t have it. I might as well tell my dad to forget taking me to the movies to see Ready Player One directed by Spielberg when it comes to theatres next year.

I also nearly had a panic attack this morning as I was waiting to get my MTA disability ID renewed for the bus fares. As I was riding the bus on my way to the MTA office downtown, there were a couple of women on the bus (African American) who were laughing about some woman who would always cuss out bus drivers. I’m paraphrasing what they said, but that’s how they put it.

And just as they were getting off the bus and walking down the street, they both stopped and tapped the glass on my window. I turned around as they smiled and laughed at me. I stared at them as they laughed while walking away, as if they were pointing fingers at me, and all I said out loud was, “I’m sorry, but what the hell?”

People on the bus gave me weird looks, but I kind of figured why those “little girls” were laughing at me. Years ago, when my medicine and my brain were not stable, I would scream at bus stops and complain to the bus drivers, demanding to know why they were late. Since I got on the right dosage of medicine, I don’t do that anymore.

But I guess I’ve made a bad impression on the people of Baltimore City. Deep down, half of me wanted to get off the bus, run up to those ladies, and punch them out for laughing at me, screaming at them that I am not a comedian, so don’t you dare laugh at me when I’m as dead serious as cancer. But the other half of me said, let them laugh. Stay your course, stay on the bus, keep that head on your shoulders. Don’t lose it.

And that’s what I ended up doing. I got to St. Paul Street, and as soon as the lady there called me to be helped, the power in the building went out.

This day could not get any worse!

The nice thing about this day was the woman at the desk was very friendly. She took my letter and two forms of ID before handing my ID back to me, saying, “Come back tomorrow or next week and give us your old MTA ID and we will take your picture and give you your new one. Don’t worry, we’ll recognize you when you come back in.”

So I sat there in the dark, waiting for the power to come back on, if it would ever get fixed. And then some other woman in the building started having a conversation with other people working in the office, saying that there was going to be a march or protest outside the building today. The march was a protest on the MTA for creating the new Baltimore Link buses and light rail, making everything more confusing for people riding public transit, which also makes the fares more expensive.

See, this is the reason why I got a reduced fare ID with them in the first place. Since I have no income and I have a documented mental illness, I need the reduced fare ID so I can get on the bus without a problem. That way, I don’t have to pay a ridiculous price of $4.20 just to get a day pass, or $1.80 one way. The reduced cost for disability and people over 65 is $.80 one way, or $2.10 day pass.

I mean, I could get a cup of coffee from Starbucks for $4.20! I could even get a cup of tea at Capital Teas or Teavana for that price, if I really wanted to.

So, with the news I heard about the protest against the transit system, I had to make a decision. Do I sit in the dark and wait for the power to come back on so I could get my ID? Or do I leave immediately before the protest gets any closer?

Remember what I said before: I am a coward. What do you think I did?

I bolted.

To tell you the truth, I’m terrified of protests and I don’t like huge crowds. I’ve had nasty memories of bad crowds since high school, with the overpopulation issue. I contacted my mom about the situation, to which she said, “Leave now.”

I couldn’t reach my Fire Francesca to take a picture, but I did see the protest lining up across the street from where the bus picked me up. People were shouting and holding signs on their way to St. Paul Street as I watched from the crowded bus window. A lot of people were getting on the bus because they wanted to be out of harm’s way, at least I think they were.

But I managed to survive the crowds and I made it all the way to Towson without getting on anyone’s case. I know it was probably one of those peaceful protests, but I still didn’t want to be caught in it, like a thunderstorm.

I can’t wait to go home and sleep. But I still want to know how the hell am I going to get my ID now.

-Lady in the Blue Box

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